A few days ago, I snapped a picture of this tree-face because I found it so strange. The rest of the property had been used as a junk/antique shop, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that the occupants had decided to adorn their leafy friend with some more human-like features. Still, I found the smirk disconcerting, as if the face were watching me assess the trashout, patiently waiting for me to stumble upon the secret room filled with rotten deer meat and dog poop and eleven pianos.
I never found that room, thankfully, and as I drove away, the tree’s smug expression remained unchanged. I was unnerved and glad to be rid of this odd piece of folk art.
My relief was short lived. Yesterday, in a tony ‘burb, I turned a corner to see this:
What is happening? Are tree-faces following me, making sure that I follow all proper procedures for the trashout? Is this a new monitoring technique developed by an ill-informed alien race? Is this an art movement among the about-to-be-foreclosed? Are the trees coming alive, like in The Wizard of Oz?
I hope it doesn’t come down to that. I did not remove so much as a leaf from these trees so as not to incur their wrath. Let it be known, evil trees: our trashout guidelines do not include the unsolicited removal of fruit from your branches. You will be allowed to flourish. We like trees. I’m just here for the garbage.